Why adults have affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on from millennium. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with evils, cause despair, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age difference, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married woman.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is just the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can switch the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your family or anybody else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a male I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown distantly, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair